This Email Got An Ivy League Coach to Respond
We hear all the time that recruiting is just about times. And while your times do matter, the truth is: how you present yourself can make or break your recruiting journey.
A few weeks ago, I was working 1-on-1 with a swimmer who wants to swim in the Ivy League. He’s a junior with solid times, but not solid enough to guarantee a spot or make him a blue chip recruit. He also has strong grades and a great improvement trend.
There was just one problem:
He hadn’t heard back from a single coach.
Two months. Zero responses.
He was frustrated, thinking it was all about times and that the coaches would never want him. But when he forwarded me his original email, the issue was clear. It wasn’t that he wasn’t fast enough — it was that his email wasn’t communicating anything exciting about him.
The First Email
Here’s what was wrong with the first version:
• It listed his times, but in a non strategic order (his best time was buried last)
• It didn’t show how his best strength- that he was improving (or that he was getting faster at all)
• It gave no reason for the coach to care beyond times that the coach could look up anyways
• It didn’t utilize his strong grades to make him a more compelling recruit, especially for a super academically focused school (and one where coaches have to make sure swimmers meet certain requirements).
• It was only sent to the head coach (a common mistake!)
The New Email
In the new version, we:
• Led with his biggest strengths- his academic and improvement strengths- so that he comes across as an exciting and dynamic recruit, and make it less of a blow that his times aren’t game changing for the school
• Highlighted his improvement and momentum (a big deal for borderline recruits)
• Added specific details about why that school was a great fit to communicate his interest properly
• Made sure to “check” the academic box by communicating that he is a strong academic prospect who won’t be a problem with admissions.
• Mentioned his club coach, who offered to speak on his behalf
• Asked one clear, specific question instead of just “Can we talk?”
Essentially, we removed all barriers for the coach to respond by communicating that this swimmer meets every box, and then asking for something small.
It wasn’t a flashy message. It was just thoughtful, strategic, and easy to read. It demonstrated that he was a swimmer that the coach could love coaching.
Within 24 hours, he got a response. And shortly after, he had a phone call with one of the top Ivy League programs on his list.
If you want to get responses from coaches at your dream program, sign up for our Bootcamp (starts April 27) or a 1 on 1 today!
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