Why You Should Talk to Your Coach More
Sweet Dreamz
I can fall asleep anywhere. On a bus- too easy. On the ground- of course! On a bench outside- absolutely. So, when my college roommate whipped out an eye mask, melatonin, and turned off every single light (including covering the little red light on our TV with duct tape) one day in our first semester living together, I was incredibly confused.
Without being prompted, Nick informed me that he cannot “just fall asleep”. That for him, getting a full night's rest was not a guarantee, but instead a roll of the dice. So it was worth it to try wearing a sleep mask, throw a melatonin gummy in, or even put a small piece of duct tape on our TV.
This conversation opened my eyes- he was not a psycho for insisting, very politely, that every light be off when wanted to go to sleep. He just had a very different sleeping experience.
I know- you probably think I’m about to go down the rabbit hole of the importance of sleep, or building a process that works for you. WRONG! Those are next week’s posts.
Instead, I’m going to tie this back to how important it is to communicate with your coach.
The Coach Athlete Relationship
When I talk to athletes who struggle with their relationship with their coach, there are a wide variety of things they struggle with. Not receiving enough attention. Not feeling understood. Feeling like they’re under the microscope of their coach, getting picked apart for every little thing. Thinking their coach is lazy. Thinking their coach thinks they are lazy. These may not seem related, but all of these can be boiled down to one core thing: a lack of communication, and thus understanding.
A coach can be a swimmer’s greatest ally if they’re working together. A secret sauce leading to unparalleled success. Or they can be the reason a swimmer wants to quit the sport.
How to Build the Relationship
So how do we take control of this?
Start small- talk to your coach once per practice. This can be asking a question in a workout, telling them for two minutes about your favorite class, or asking them a question about their family. It starts slow, but eventually, you start to build up a rapport and understanding with that coach, that bleeds into swimming. Maybe you understand why they were late to practice that one day (they have a puppy who’s not yet housetrained, not because you’re lazy). And maybe they start to understand the reason you showed up late (you’re very involved in your school’s play and had to stay late one day, and not because you don’t care about swimming). Suddenly, because you understand them and they understand you, you know how to ask for help when you need it, and they know how to give it. You go from being a swimmer and coach to two people, working towards a common goal.
Why does this work? Two reasons, both of which can be applied to any relationship in your life.
When you make an effort with somebody, they generally appreciate that and reciprocate
When you show you’re passionate about something (swimming) that somebody else (your coach) is also passionate about, you appreciate each other more
If Nick never initiated a conversation about his bedtime routine, I probably would’ve grown more frustrated each night as our room entered a state of darkness found only on the far side of the Moon. But by initiating, not only was I not frustrated, I was more willing to help- even taping over the light on our dehumidifier without being asked. If he hadn’t been willing to talk, I never would have known how to help.
Want More Help?
We all know that swimming can be really hard! And you may need help getting started with implementing little habits like these. That’s where we come in to help. At College Swim Connect, we connect you with experienced mentors: elite college swimmers who have figured this stuff out. They can guide you through and give you access to their own arsenal of tools that they’ve carefully created over the years. Enter your email on our site and get started today with a free meeting!
